Change is scary. Big Change is Big Scary. I am very very tired right now, and I feel like a bad yogi. I am anything but calm and centered, and to add insult to…injury, I can’t even really do asana since my back is in such a bad way. Sigh.
So I thought I would share words from those wiser than me today. This is from the lovely Stella at Shiny Yoga:
In my teacher training a few years back, my teacher shared with us a story about how another teacher she knew, who was a smoker. She told us about the struggle this teacher would have – espousing all healthiness and light and love to her students on the mat, but then she’d leave class and light up a cigarette and feel completely torn.It brings up the question, how ‘yogi’ is ‘yogi’? And truth be told, it’s something I struggle with a lot – and I’m sure a lot of you do too. Case in point, I am currently on my first holiday in 2 years. Yes – 2 years! So of course I’ve got the flu as I’m run down, my depression has flared up as I’ve not been giving myself enough time and love, and I’ve had lots of injuries over the last 2 months. But I’m always sharing stories of rest and listening to your bodies when I’m leading a yoga class. So now – I’m a wee bit torn.But I’m turning a new leaf and in the new year, my mantra is from the lovely and ever-inspiring Pema Chodron and it is to : Start Where You Are.You can get bogged down in wishing your life was this way or another. You can look back at the end of the year and beat yourself up because your resolutions didn’t occur. Or you can start where you are – take lessons from what you know, realise you did what you could, and dust off your battered heart, give it some love and begin again.
And now read this article from Be Three about swaha – so be it, or I offer it up. It’s ok to be with the bad stuff, these wise people say – and the teachings do tell us that difficult feelings are not the cause of suffering, our aversion to them is. All the same, is it too much to ask that the difficult feelings go away for a while? Little trip to Hawai for them perhaps?