I learnt a new word this week: Palimpsest.
Isn’t it beautiful? I have been rolling it around on my tongue for days, feeling the sounds, hard and smooth like a glass bead, the click of the ‘st’ against my front teeth.
It means, according to Dictionary.com,
n.
-
A manuscript, typically of papyrus or parchment, that has been written on more than once, with the earlier writing incompletely erased and often legible.
- An object, place, or area that reflects its history: “Spaniards in the sixteenth century . . . saw an ocean moving south . . . through a palimpsest of bayous and distributary streams in forested paludal basins” (John McPhee).
I learnt it from a student, who used it in reference to her own body, and how it shows up the marks of her life. Not scars, mind you. Just…evidence.
Imagine if we rephrased our relationship to our bodies: no longer old or saggy or not good enough, but rather something that has been written on more than once, that reflects its history.
When I think of archeology, I always think of the excitement of rediscovering something that was obscured.Imagine we could see our yoga practices, our lives, our bodies, and our souls in this way too. Wouldn’t that change our experience of every day?
So when I look at the scars on my forehead, arms and belly (from having chicken pox at 27), the stretch marks on my hips, the nick at the back of my left thigh (from being run over by mistake as a toddler!), instead of seeing imperfections, I can see the history, still visible, of my body. And sometimes, the rounded shoulders, or twisted pelvis, might lead us to new discoveries, or rediscoveries, of things that were previously obscured. How very exciting! How freeing.
It could be this way also with our emotional landscapes – the way we react to certain things, the triggers for feeling fear, anger, loneliness, joy. Imagine just exploring them – as evidence of the past, and clues to the present. How exciting that makes svadhyaya, which I shall translate today as self-exploration. Rolling these things around like glass beads, just feeling the texture, exploring.
I’m making this my pet project for the next while: to investigate the divine palimpsest that is me. Will you join me? I have spent way too much time thinking about what is ‘wrong’ with me. Which, if looked at that way, could be plenty. Evidence. Exploration. Much better!
Hi Nadine,
I really enjoyed your post, thank you. I have been working with an amazing chiropractor and recently I commented to her that I feel as if our work together is like an archeological dig, using touch and breath to unearth lost parts of myself. I have often thought of yoga as the most extraordinary map or like the ultimate multi-tool and my body as the landscape for exploring and uncovering lost treasures, shedding light on dark areas and applying radical self-acceptance to whatever I discover. Remembering that we are whole and perfect inclusive of scars, marks, pain, trauma and challenging feelings. Our personal and collective history’s can be embraced and accepted as opposed to being something that drags us down.
‘Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I will meet you there.’ Rumi
Kate xo
Nadine, this is such a beautiful way to think of our bodies and our inner landscape!
I will definitely join you – I have been working lately with re-telling my stories with the positive details instead of the challenging ones. It is incredibly powerful… The stories are equally as true, it is simply a shift in focus – which dovetails nicely with this concept of our divine palimpsest, don’t you think??
Much love to you!!
Sounds very positive, Nadine!
If I may offer my own revelatory experience from this week. It is intriguing how positive or negative thoughts in relation to certain events can affect one’s own feelings and behaviour. I, for one, have experienced my share of negative thoughts and the affect that has had on my emotional and physical state!
Last week in particular I was feeling emotionally wrung out from some events in my life, and feeling very dejected. Yet this week I am feeling very upbeat. The events that happened didn’t suddenly disappear.
So what has changed? Perhaps it was my over magnification of these particular events, and focusing on perceived negative consequences.
Whatever the case, this week has been very positive for me and I delight in joining you in this divine inner quest!
Stay positive, Nadine
Nadine, what a gorgeous post! I will absolutely join you in this archaeological dig. These are exactly the sorts of things I’ve been musing over lately, particularly in relation to svadhyaya.
I’m hoping that this excavation of the divine palimpsest that is you will also encourage you to post just a *tiny* bit more often. I’ve missed reading your work as often as it has appeared in the past!
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