Folks, it’s nearly the end of April. Nearly FOUR months into the Two Words Project 2012. I’m loving knowing how people are going with their intentions for the year – and you know, I don’t think it’s two late to set a two-wrod intention for your year now, if you haven’t yet. Changes of season are good for renewals
Today, fabulous yogi Melissa Lesley Squarey shares her Two Words. I love this post, I found it so moving.
In the later part of 2011, I began making big life decisions towards becoming a yoga teacher. After ten years of practice I was inspired by many things that began to lead me in this direction. One of those things was an article written by Nadine Fawell about not having the perfect body to practice yoga. I noticed her passion for yoga right then and there and quickly sought out to find more information on this lovely individual who had spoken to the fears I had held onto for so long. I’d never been the best or most diligent student of the tradition. I would not consider my practice consistent throughout my ten years of practice. Various life circumstances like undergraduate studies, abusive relationships, and graduate studies always seemed to only allow me to practice yoga at certain times in my life.
When I did practice it was to turn inward, when I needed to look deeper inside of myself for something more than what was going on about me. I was left with nothing but yoga during these times. As it happens, yoga seemed to be the best way to self-care. What I now realize after taking on a daily practice for the past six months, which I feel is about as consistent as I have ever been, is that sometimes it is the inconsistencies that bring you to practice and lead you to the path of your yoga. This is reflected in my interests now and my future aspirations. As a part of my study of yoga I’ve found solace in the ability to turn inward and heal from the inside out.
As a part of the Two Words Project that Nadine began on New Year’s Day of 2012, I like others globally choose two words that began to resonate with me in my meditations at that time. I now feel that these two words may have been around, though unspoken, far before my personal experience of naming them. My whole system changed when I took this step toward a deep intention for the whole year. I was about to take the steps from student to teacher and attend my very first 200-hour yoga teacher training course.The energy between these two new directions in my life and the revitalization that only the new year can bring filled the air about me with happiness, excitement, and an anxiety that I could not explain.
Sitting in my grandmother’s home, where I was visiting for the holiday, I began to meditate in a window that overlooks the straits between Southwest Newfoundland and Eastern Nova Scotia. I had grown up seeing this vast space of ocean, saw it turn up from Winter storms and look like a continual piece of glass as the Summer sun sets. Years of observing this great force in wonder at the things that were beyond human control. As I meditated this day, shortly before the New Year, I felt an ease of tension that I had not known I was carrying about. As I watched the waves rolling I began to be absolutely still in the moment between one wave and the next.
It was the grace period between the waves that opened up my mind to the experience, no matter how brief, of my innate and universal Self. I can liken this experience to that of recognizing the Soul. The thing that many of us explain as infinite and transversal. For example, when we die people often talk about one’s soul going to heaven. I, luckily, had one singular moment where I felt that experience. I needed several moments after to understand what had just happened.
In that time, I understood that a little grace is all that was needed. Much like in my early practice of yoga, the periods in between the inconsistencies were similar to those periods of time in between each wave. It was a period of time where I was able to bring some grace into my life as it was ultimately necessary.
FIND GRACE became my two words for the 2012 year. Since, then it has inspired me as a young woman who currently doesn’t have a permanent job and is willing to give everything that I can to do yoga. To practice is to find grace amongst the difficulty, this is no easy task. Like yoga it requires discipline and commitment, plenty of gumption and loads of what we in Newfoundland call “guts”. FIND GRACE is an intention, a mantra, and a lifesaver.
This is the beauty of the Two Words Project. We all learn these inner messages that vibrate around us and can only come from the universal cosmos. Let’s take my two words in example, to FIND most commonly denotes that something is hidden or lost. This word specifically represents the search for our True Self, the reason we turn inward to practice yoga. GRACE is a more mystical concept that is most often used in a spiritual conceptualization of God, in some form, being revealed to the devoted. This feeling is called bliss in yoga; the revelation of something greater than our physical body that impacts the universe.
When I combine my two words they tell me a lot about my current situation. My two words tell me that I am practicing yoga because it attempts to bring me closer to revealing my True Self. It brings me closer to connecting with that Self in each and every person, animal, or plant. It enriches my life only to be enriching others around me. It is a service to those inconsistencies that need those grace periods. To serve is to find my path in yoga.