In 2011, a lot went wrong with my health. Nothing serious, exactly. Just lots of little breakages, a cancer scare, and an inner-ear infection that rendered me unable to balance. I was out of action for about six weeks with that. Not pretty.
It was, I think, largely an emotional clean out: 35 years of suppressed ick, finally allowed to come out and be cleared. I’m just glad I did it before I got really ill.
Anyway.
One Saturday when that ear infection was at its worst, my boyfriend had no choice but to leave me and my burning fever at home, because he had to go to University for his Masters degree. Before he left, he called his parents and asked them to come over and look after me. I was mortified: I was in no state to be seeing people…
But you know what?
I will always remember what they did for me that day: they cooked up a week’s worth of food, and brought it over so we could eat well. They helped me get to the toilet (I needed help walking) and made me drink hot lemon water (I was dehydrating because of the fever and the nausea).
Earlier that same day, I had texted a few of my closest friends and asked if they could bring me fizzy water because it was the only liquid I could keep down, and clearly I was in no state to get any for myself. Kerry, who was sick herself, got her husband to deliver a bottle to me.
In that way, they showed me love at a time when I most needed it.
Another friend didn’t even respond to my text. It changed my view of her.
Food is love.
When I want to show care for someone, I often cook for them.
When I was trying to punish myself for, well, being alive, back when I was an unhappy teenager, I denied myself food. I’ve also medicated with food - filling an emotional hole with physical comfort.
Used that way, food is not love, but a substitute.
These days, as I work with my two words for 2012, stillness & stability, I think about my food choices in relation to how they can keep my health stable.
Lots of protein, because I just do better when I eat that way.
Lots of greens.
Lots of carrots.
Almost no sugar (wow, that has helped with both my mood and my health!)
And in this way, food is love for my body, for my soul, and for my health.
Moving from Stability: Understanding the Pelvis in Posture (Online workshop)
Light Up Your Life
It took me a long time to appreciate food as love. All that dance training meant my diet consisted of peanut butter sarnies, bananas and cigarettes for years…..sigh.
But now, oh dear Lord do I love my food, eating and preparing (and as Svasti will tell you I love nothing more than a good cream tea – so the sugar thing is yet to come!)
I do need high protein though and low low fibre. My body cannot absorb protein very well and acts very badly to too much fibre so all the “healthy” stuff like brown rice and grains are out for me. Like eating razorblades…. xx
Something I didn’t realise when I was younger, but which makes all the sense in the world to me now… eating well is an act of self-love. And yes, preparing/bringing food to others is a generosity of spirit/sharing of love that is part of what makes the world go around.
Last year when I needed it the most, my at-the-time neighbour would offer me some of whatever she was cooking for her family. Which was amazing, because I could barely drag myself out of bed and to/from work at the time. Cooking was just so much hard work and took energy I didn’t have! So she helped me when I needed it the most and I’ll be forever grateful for that.
Learning to heal my body has been a massive lesson in the way food affects me. Eat all the right things and WOW, big change in my experience of being alive. And like you, lots of protein and greens. No sugar.
It’s changed my world. I am AMAZED to hear you’ve given up sugar though. Never saw that coming!! x
Nade, this sounds so much like you my dear friend. You have always been so honest when it comes to your relationship with food. I love it and I love the way you cook and eat. You have such a healthy relationship with good food. I am getting there and will always remember my week in Melbourne with you in 2010 – the food was good! Love you x
Hear, hear! I have only discovered the magic of good food in the last few years. Don’t know what I used to feed myself before then, but it wasn’t food that nourished. And there is nothing more rewarding than showing love to others by making beautiful food for them.
beautiful, nadine.. love the picture too!
love this and…..love food! My husband calls some meals ‘soul food’ (not junk food), when you are eating something really delicious and nourishing when you are sick/down that hits the spot not just in your belly but in your soul too.
Loved this post Nadine! I feel the same about food, when I don’t know how to show people that I love them, I cook for them! BTW you can ask me anytime to bring you fizzy water!
I tiotally agree with your take on food being love.
I too undernourished myself as a teenager and well into my twenties…
Now I love myself and nurture myself with balance.