I love Fiona Apple. Well, full disclosure, I love her music. I’ve never actually met the person but her music got me through some of the toughest times of my life. It’s my angry/sad music. Or at least, it was. Now, I listen to her songs, and I feel alive. I feel what I’ve been through and I celebrate that I am through. I think this lady, poet, songstress, all round powerhouse, has a lot to teach us. First, about self-love…
Things Fiona Apple can teach us about self-love:
1. Be your quirky self.
People WANT to see other people’s flaws and foibles. It makes them approachable, human, less intimidating. It helps us feel empathy for others, and connect with them in a real way. You never know what you are getting when someone has an impenetrable wall up.
2. Keep the private stuff private.
Fiona Apple is not a regular of the tabloids. In fact, it’s pretty hard to find information about her private life. That, clearly, is because she keeps it private. When you are public property, as she is, there has to be a distinction between the two parts of your life. Most of us either overshare, or don’t let people in at all. Learning appropriate boundaries is a vital act of self care. (Because of my childhood, I didn’t develop any until I was an adult, and I did it via therapy. There are loads of ways to learn boundaries, all are valid.)
3. Live fully.
A line in Apple’s new song, Every Single Night, goes like this: I just wanna feel everything, everything. That people, is healthy. I know Fiona Apple has had her own challenges with feeling. We all have. Life isn’t just about the sunshine and butterflies. It’s about the darkness too. It’s cyclical. And if you try to deny or suppress the dark, ugly, frightening, it will come back to bite you in the ass. Guaranteed.
4. Clear the crap.
So, you’ve felt everything, now you can clear it out. Shout. Get therapy. Make angry music (a la Apple). Do what you gotta do to get it out of your body, not just out of your mind. Yoga is an excellent start…
5. Make yourself heard.
Express yourself. OK, you may not be a famous musician, but you still have unique gifts of self expression. Maybe you are a kick-ass vision-board maker (useful skill, by the way), maybe you write well. Or cook like a star. Maybe you just need to speak up and be heard at work.
Make yourself heard. Own your personal power. It’s worth it, scary as it is (and I know it is for me).
Stay tuned for the rest of the week – it’s all self-love, all week long, with possibly the best giveaway this blog has ever seen!
PS I’m going to be moving my blog over to wordpress.org shortly, so if you follow me via wordpress.com, you might want to do that by email so I can transfer the feed. Also, if you get the emails with the old, purple header, you need to email me because I can’t change you over and when I move, you will stop getting my blog xx