This is a guest post from my dear friend, Kerry Belviso. We did post swaps this week, as I am sure you noticed!
I am in total awe of this woman, let me tell you. She has built a flourishing business, doing what she loves, from the ground up, and it seems to me every month she breaks new ground. We are going to be co-presenters at the Self-Love Day on 25 August. So excitement!
Read on for Kerry’s tips on how to upgrade your life.
How often do we hold ourselves back from giving ourselves what we really want and need? I know I do, sometimes without even realizing it.
Recently on my blog, I wrote about my resistance to upgrading my wallet. It was symbolic, of course. I was really just resisting the next phase of my life and business, as we sometimes do when we’re not sure if we’re ready for what’s next.
Straight after I upgraded my wallet, things started to change, and quickly.
The day afterwards, my wedding photographer got back to me with a quote and we arranged a photo shoot for my (soon to be upgraded) website two days later. Again the symbolism of new photos is pretty clear; for me new photos represent a new way of seeing myself, and also allowing myself to be seen by others.
Tests often pop up when we commit.
Sometimes, when we make a commitment to ourselves, in my case, deciding to upgrade and not to compromise anymore, a little test will pop up, almost as if to say, “Are you sure?”
In my case, it involved one of my clinic spaces.
Recently, I moved rooms in St Kilda. I went with the flow so I could continue to share a space with a really lovely lady. I have shared a room with her since she offered the space to me when I went to see her for a Kinesiology session over 3 years ago.
I’d had a quick look at the new space and with the changes to be made I thought I’d wait and see – it might be fine. However, once the move had happened, I quickly realised the new space wasn’t going to work for me.
As I mentioned in the wallet upgrade post, making do will no longer do.
Every day, I work with clients on concepts like feeling ok about putting yourself and your needs first. So often we try to please others, go along with things or worry about what others might think about our various decisions.
I often talk with my clients about the importance of getting clear within ourselves about what we want and need. That’s the first step. Then we can start moving towards what we want to create.
So I took my own advice and wrote a long list about what I really wanted in a new space for both my clients and me.
I started to make some calls. Soon enough I had three great alternatives to choose from, none of which were advertised, but all of which were available on days that fit my schedule.
Don’t you love synchronicity?
I found the perfect space in Albert Park.
The space I’ve chosen is in beautiful Albert Park at Level 2, 150 Bridport St and I’ll be there every Friday from this Friday 13th July.
When I met with Kylie, who owns the business I’m sharing space with, Balanced Bodies, I liked her enthusiastic energy. The new room I’ll be working in on Friday’s feels warm and welcoming and there are so many signs that this is the right move.
Can you put yourself first?
Another change I’ve just made is to reduce the number of days I see clients.
Part of me has felt I “should” be able to easily cope with four busy days of clients. How often do we do this, make decisions based on “shoulds” rather than just being honest with ourselves?
The reality is that over the past few months I’ve usually been fully booked with clients four days a week, and often adding extra sessions. This meant I was getting home after 8pm four nights a week. I was working at my computer most nights and every weekend to try and stay on top of admin and other business activities. And this has also meant that I spent most of the rest of my time in recovery, extreme self-care and burn-out prevention mode.
No matter what the “shoulds” say, this is not a great scenario. (There were other reasons I worked so hard; my husband was out of work for three months, but that’s another story.)
Again, I have had to get very clear on what I want and need. Can you give yourself permission to do the same? Can you give yourself permission to put your needs first?
I’m the only one who knows what is the right balance for me. I need to be clear in myself and be willing to make adjustments when I need to.
Just as you are the only one who truly knows what’s best for you. You’re the only one who can make decisions about what you should say yes or no to and you’re the only one who can take the actions to put your needs first.
I’ve given myself permission to create a new kind of balance. One that will work beautifully for me, my lovely husband and hopefully still suit all my clients too.
Staying aligned is important to me.
Making these decisions, and putting my needs first really aligned, like I am honouring my true desires, as I encourage all my clients to do.
Kerry Belviso is a busy Kinesiologist based in the Melbourne CBD and Albert Park. Visit her Kinesiology site here, and you can like her Facebook page here. She’s presenting with Nadine at A Day of Self-love on Saturday 25th August.