After last week’s post about Fiona Apple being her quirky self, I got a lot of emails. I always know I’ve hit a nerve when I get emails about a post.
And, interestingly, all those emails were talking about how hard people find it not to compare themselves to others. And how, when they DO compare, they always find themselves not good enough.
It’s a trap, people.
The Comparison Trap.
Here’s the thing.
No matter how hard you look at someone else from the outside, you still have no idea what’s really going on for them.
Say, with yoga poses. You look at someone doing the flashiest pose imaginable, but you have no idea whether maybe they used to be a gymnast, of right now they have back pain, or whatever.
Or in business.
The comparison trap often seems to come in the form of a beautiful website that you stumble upon. It’s a website for a person who does something similar to you, but this person seems SO much more successful. They have a fancier website, more Facebook ‘likes’, whatever.
Yes, I am talking to you folks who emailed me about this
But you ave NO idea whether that person actually has a solid business. These things: Facebook ‘likes’, site stats, whatnot, are soft numbers. They are not the hard, cold numbers of revenue per quarter.
But still we compare, with the limited and therefore inaccurate information we have.
It’s a subtle form of stealing: we steal from ourselves by refusing to accept and enjoy what we have right now. Never mind that envy situation with whoever you are comparing yourself to.
I’m going to talk more about comparing, or rather, not comparing, this week, but today I want to leave you with this:
Every time you catch yourself falling into the comparison trap, ask yourself what you have, or do, that others might envy.
Do you do a particular yoga pose in a way that nobody else in your class can? And it just comes naturally to you? Think about how that might be true for the person whose yoga you are envying too…
Do you have a really solid romantic relationship that others are always commenting on? Why then be envious of someone else’s career?
You see what I mean, yes?
Happy Monday, lovely ones.