This website redesign?
Has been a MASSIVE job. And I’ve (re) learnt one thing about myself, an aspect of my personality that’s helped me in so many ways, but is also possibly one of the least helpful parts of me.
I am stubborn.
Now, I’m not talking common-or-garden variety stubbornness here. I am talking obstinate, immovable, goat-like tenacity.
This trait got me through my childhood.
It got me through the early, tentative years of my business.
It’s why I did a website redesign myself, instead of getting someone else to do it.
It’s one of my greatest strengths.
It’s also one of my greatest weaknesses.
It makes arguments torturous. Although I have learned, over the years, to bend when I am actually wrong, and sometimes when I am not. Flexiblity, developed through my yoga practice.
It makes challenging projects harder than they need to be, because I will not stop, will not rest. It’s why I have been know to overwork and then get sick.
One of the ways I’ve learned to be more flexible, so my stubbornness can serve me rather than trip me up, is to find people who know me well and call me on my sh*t.
Finding your feedback people is essential.
Now, a distinction. These are people who care about you and will not allow you to do things that harm you. These are not people who call you onTHEIR sh*t, and try to dress it up as care.
How do you know the difference? It’s the way you feel after they’ve given you feedback. If you feel like you’ve been undermined, or sabotaged, it’s probably not useful feedback, or it’s been put in a way that hurts you without making a point.
If it’s unasked for…
Hmmm. I am not a fan of that. I want my feedback people to stand back, watch me lovingly, and then step in and give me advice or feedback, when I ask for it. That is care.
There’s a Sanskrit word for these people: Satsanga. It means good company. The word sat means ‘that which lives’ or ‘that which is true’.
Basically, you want a community of people who help you be more you. The awesomest version of you possible.
If you feel you have to edit yourself around someone, or show them a different face than your real face? Those people are not your good company. I’ve talked about this a lot lately, I know. It’s been on my mind as I revel in the good company I have!
When I was working on this site, I had several people’s voices ringing in my head.
For honest design feedback, Kerry Belviso again, and my friend Pam McGhee.
And for logic, my boyfriend. He will always find the holes in my reasoning. It’s one of the, well, reasons I love him.
Do you guys have good feedback people? How did you go about finding them?