I’m tired. When I am tired, I get paranoid.

Have I mentioned this before? Anyway, KNOWING this fact doesn’t actually help much with the actual experience of the paranoia. Some things do though. Sleep. Watching cooking shows.

And writing lists of what I’m grateful for. Even if I am too frikkin tired to be really grateful for anything.

So here goes!

• Poh’s Kitchen. Podasted straight to my computer and watched prone on the couch. Cooking shows are my go-to medicine for misery. I don’t know why, I just know they work.
• Sleep (of course).
• How my BFF texts me whenever I most need to hear from her. How can she tell? That woman is creepily intuitive.
• Learning, albeit slowly, the correct use of ‘No’ in getting unstuck and staying in flow.
• Parties! Even though they are the cause of my fatigue.
• Taking risks. Calculated risks, but risks nonetheless.
• Yoga.
• Skyping with my family across the sea.
• The *amazing* conversations that have come out of some of my recent blog posts.
• Feeling disciplined. I am, you know, despite being a bon vivant. No more procrastination for me!

Have a lovely week, everyone.

But hey, a three-day weekend, who’s complaining? Not I, not I!

It’s been spent in Lorne, in a house with the What What Wine Club crew. Perfect.

Thanks for the pics, Pam!

That ass being kicked? It’s mine. Clearly, there was no silliness AT ALL this weekend.

So, here’s a list of Happy in honour of an unexpected extra day off, and the frivolity it brought:

• Planning Big Big Things with Kerry. Big things. Exciting things. Oh yes!
• How holidays, however brief, can take you out of your quotidien worries and reset your brain.
• Friends
• Boyfriend. He took such good care of me today, and I needed that. I was a little…off.
• Food (always so good with the What What crew!)
• Wine. We did a blind tasting. I got nothing right. I need some more educating.
• Cuddling on cold nights. Hell, cuddling any time!
• Putting my iPod on random and seeing what happens. My taste in music is a little eclectic, so the results are often really, well, random.
• Miso soup
• The wonders of Modern Technology. How else would I text my mother when she’s halfway across the world, in another time zone?
• Getting emails from my dad asking if I’m OK. I am now, dad, because you asked.
• Feeling toasty warm inside my lovely new jacket, while the world outside is breath-mistingly cold.
• Sleep. Melbourne’s wet winters definitely make we want to hibernate. Could you bring me tea and honey toast occasionally and wake me up in the spring? Ta.
• That people continue to show up for yoga class despite the chilly weather. You guys! Amazing!

Photo: mattyp on Flickr

• Autumn weather: sometimes sunny, often crisp, always changing. It’s a beautiful season & I really love watching the leaves change, then fall.
• Seeing people sitting in the sun on the State Library lawn.
• Parties! There were lots this weekend, and one even had cupcakes. Perfection, I tell you.
• Braiding my hair like the girl on the cover of the current issue of Frankie. Who says I’m not a fashion whore?
• Red pears. They are in season, they are cheap at the markets, and the are beautiful! Ditto persimmons. They just about make up for the fact that cherries aren’t in season year-round.
• Doing my yoga. I just don’t feel right without it.
• Girly time. So essential, so very essential!
• Melbourne. It’s so odd that it took me all this time to find a city where I really, truly feel at home. This is it. It’s also rather a pretty city, especially in the Autumn light.
• Coming home to my lovely, girly, overpriced flat. I know it’s overpriced because I’ve discovered that friends are paying the same as me, for three times as much space, just a little further out of the city. But I love living here, with my wrought-iron bed, and my pink bedlinen, and the french poupee on the bed. I have never been able to indulge my own taste to quite this degree before. It’s luxurious!
• Resolution. I’ve been having incredibly intense dreams lately, redolent with obvious themes, all of them about endings. For example, last night I dreamt that I was an old lady who had to put her husband in a home because his Alzheimers was so advanced. Except he knew what I was doing and I felt terrible, and he also wanted to take his large carved wardrobe with. On the tram. We left it on the platform, in the end. Very obvious imagery, and the emotive state around it was mixed: relief, sadness, guilt, and sunshine. Yes, sunshine has an emotional tone. For me, anyway. The end, the legal end, is coming, and I can see sunshine after that.

Hope you are all having sun-drenched weeks, literally or figuratively!

Oh, and I know I have been the dead zone for comment replies: I plan to remedy this just as soon as I have a bit of time. xoxo

Taasha is awesome: all feminine and sweet, and when she cusses, as she does frequently, it still comes out sounding pretty and feminine. Hilarious! I have The Girl Crush.

Other highlights from this week include:

• Watching Fantastic Mr. Fox. How could I not have done this before? I mean, it’s based on a Roald Dahl story, and he was only my favourite ever childhood author. And it’s directed by Wes Anderson, and HE is only my favourite ever director. I have been stuck in yogaland too long, people. Must get out more. I loved this movie. Loved. Will be rewatching till I know all the words. oh, and did I mention that George Clooney is Mr. Fox?
• Home-made Mexican food. If it can be Mexican when its makers aren’t. Yummy nonetheless.
• My man-friend. He’s been around for a while, but this kind of personal stuff never makes it onto the blog until I am SURE about it. He is fah-bu-lous. He makes me weak at the knees. Sorry, that’s all the info you are getting for now.
• Cooking. And eating. Of course.
• Teaching. I really love my job. I love the community that’s developing at the Docklands classes, I love the chats I have with people after class. I love watching how people react when they suddenly realise they can do something they previously thought was impossible.
• Running into people I know, everywhere I go. This is how I know Melbourne is home now. At my local, my coffee is made before I have even ordered or paid. I run into students and friends on the street in the city, in Docklands, in St Kilda. It’s like it was in Jo’burg. Yay!
• Collaboration. I am so lucky to work with amazing people like Emma and the other teachers at Moksha (keep your eyes peeled for the Big Reveal on a secret project we have in the pipleline) and with Kerry whose kinesiology and teaching background marry so well with my yoga. It’s so much more fun when you aren’t just plugging away on your own!
• Actually, Kerry has a competition on her blog at the moment. I do love me some free stuff!
• Getting gussied up and going out in the world. It’s so *very* nice to wear something other than lulu every now and then. That said, my lululemon yoga gear is the best I have ever owned: I don’t actually mind spending five or six days a week in it: it’s comfortable, indestructible, does amazing things for the rear view, the tops give good coverage without cutting at the underarms. That’s gonna make a girl happy, too.
• Off-colour jokes. Again, the man-friend. His jokes Lower The Tone faster than even mine can. We three (Pam included) were in politically incorrect hysterics quite a bit last night.

Have a wonderful week!

Click the image for photo credits

So, le list:

• Sitting on the couch, knitting & watching Poh’s Kitchen. I am really keen to try the onde onde recipe. Not the durian variation though. No, not that
• The beginnings of a snood. Yes, that’s right. A snood. This one, actually
• While I am on about knitting, one day I also hope to have an appropriate reason to knit one of these scarves. I have found a Noro stockist in Melbourne. Exciting times! Boys, put your orders in now.
• The changing of the leaves
• The changing moods of the ocean. Every morning, before I hop on the tram to class, I look out over the sea and check her mood
• When the wind blows just right and it smells of the sea. It doesn’t happen that often in Melbourne
• Walking along the beach on Saturday mornings
• Being fed, lushly, by other people, all weekend. Good thing I went for that long walk on Saturday!
• Looking forward to seeing Taasha and Tristan from the Audreys live this weekend. Woo woo!
• Going to Kerry’s awesome kinesiology workshop in June
• Great excitement about the workshop Kerry and I are going to do together in July! Stay tuned for details!
• Drinking endless cups of the Best Green Tea in the World, given to me by my friend Han. I can’t read what it’s actually called, since it’s all in Chinese, but I am pretty sure it’s called The Best Green Tea in the World. Apologies to today’s students: I will do my best not to talk too fast or appear too overly caffeinated
• Eating chocolate hedgehogs with my tea. Yes, I not only got fed, but was also given takeaways. Eat your hearts out, because I also have biscotti in my kitchen right now, oh yes I do!
• Teaching yoga. I have the Best Job in the World ™
• My BFF. She picked me up off the floor (again) this week, despite being too busy at her fancy new job to even see her kids right now. Thank you, darling

Feature Wall - Il Fornaio by avlxyz

• Il Fornaio coffee, almond croissant & Ethiopiques on the iPod. Perfect Saturday morning. Especially since it started too early, and there was Not Enough Sleep. And we all know what happens when I don’t get enough sleep. Yes, that’s right. The Paranoia. Coffee and sugar tend to help a little
• Quinces! Yes! And making Quince glaze out of Nigella’s How to be a Domestic Goddess. Double yes!
• Pomegranates. And persimmons. Oh, I love obscure & seasonal fruit. And I love that Il Fornaio had all these things for sale when I stumbled in for my coffee feeling rather ragged. Yes, yoginis are sometimes immoderate in their behaviour. This one is, anyway. In fact, as I have mentioned before, I only have the two settings: On, or Off. I ‘m working towards more balance. It’s a process. At least I have balance around food now. Not that you would think it from my preoccupation with good things to eat

• Speaking of which, the text I got from a friend this week telling me she had dreamt about tofu after I made Sophie Dahl’s scrambled tofu with pesto for her! Sample pages from that amazing cookbook here
• This is a point of amusement: I am a truly useless tea-maker. You’d think it would be really simple, right? But if it’s not herbal or green, you can be fairly sure your tea will be too weak, or too milky, or otherwise subtly off. Bizarre, non?
• Cool crisp weather. And hot water bottles. And walks on the beach in said weather. Not with the hot water bottles though. Those can stay at home
• Learning new ways to be. So hard, but also so rewarding. I am here to tell you that you don’t have to repeat unconstructive patterns all your life if you don’t want to. You can choose, every day, to make different choices, choose different reactions and behaviours
• Apivita‘s Cleansing Face Mask with Pink Clay. A deep-clean, hydration, and delicious scent all in one. Perfect for tired skin!
• Did I mention the Ethiopiques? Can’t. Stop. Listening. Funkalicious
• Connection. We had Free Form this week, and at dinner (Bopha Devi Docklands, v nice) on girl told me that although she only moved to Melbourne from Adelaide a few months ago, she bumps into people all over the city whom she knows. From yoga class. How cool is that? The Free Form dinners, which are always better attended than the actual yoga, have created a community. Yay!
• Long phone talks with favourite girls. Oh my, I missed you this week, Miss Fox

This weekend has also marked what would have been my fifth wedding anniversary, and the end of the 12-month cycle of ‘firsts’ alone. Friday was a sad day. So, the first item on my list this week:

• A good lunch on a sad day (see below). Made by me, for me

• Cooking for people. It’s one of the greatest pleasures in my life, especially when they enjoy the food. I love having people in my home, and I love feeding them. This weekend, I made Tuna Tataki, impossibly glamourous and impossibly easy, and for brunch, scrambled tofu with pesto
• The tofu brings me to Sophie Dahl’s book, Miss Dahl’s Voluptuous Delights. I cannot tell you what an amazing book this is. You just have to go out and buy it. And no, I am not being paid to say this. It’s full of the kind of food I like to eat, like quinoa and tofu, but prepared in a such a way that you could feed it to anyone, even non-hippies, and they would enjoy it. I might even have to dedicate a whole post to her sometime soon
• Yippie = yuppie + hippie = me. Hilarious! What I get for simultaneously smelling of patchouli (I do, it’s an ingredient in my current deodorant) and carrying an iPhone
• ‘You move like a cat’. Why, thank you. Compliment welcomed, accepted, and stored
• Brunch and excellent coffee at Mart 130. It’s been on my List Of Melbourne’s Best Coffee Places to Visit for quite some time. All expectations were met. It’s so funky, too – look at the decor!

• The Sunday Afternoon Drive. There is only one thing better, and that is the Sunday Afternoon Nap. But if you’re driving to see Black Spur, which is spectacular, and the weather is crisp and clear, and you have good music playing (even if there is a little conflict about whose iPod will be plugged in, or maybe especially) the Drive wins
• Scones on a Sunday afternoon, mid Drive. How civilised!
• Coffee…
• Friends
• Melbourne. I heart you Melbourne. Thank you for being my home
• The weather finally turning towards Autumn. It’s been cooler, and that makes it easier to sleep. Harder to get up though
• Long weekends. Two Sundays in a row, so decadent!
• Frankie Magazine. It is the ONLY magazine I buy. All the others, I read at the library. But Frankie is just so cooool. Art*Fashion*Music*Craft*Life, they say. Oh, Frankie, I say

It’s been a weekend of good food, good company, and a little bit of high drama for effect.

Lots to be grateful for this week. Let’s start with the food, shall we?
I mean, look at that yummy photo strip!

Le list:

• Cupcakes. Gluten free, home-made, raspberry topped and delicious
• French toast, home-made, berry-topped, delicious. You see a theme? Well, in all honesty, there was also the yummy restaurant French toast on Saturday
• Having people to share the good food with, people who climb off the furniture and sit on the floor at the first opportunity. Visitors all weekend, yay! The more dirty dishes get generated, the better the weekend
• Kids running riot in my house. A controlled riot, never fear. I wonder, if I abducted them and kept them for myself, would anyone notice?
• That gorgeous teapot you see up there? A gift, from the lovely Pam, out of which we drank many many cups of the best green tea ever, a gift from Han. Y’all already know how I feel about gifts…
• My Gran telling me she can’t wait to see me when I get to South Africa
• Skype. Which is how I spoke to my Gran in the first place
• My family
• Looking forward to spending Easter Sunday at my godparents house, just like old times
• Following the discipline of not working, all weekend. I can’t believe it!
• Getting enough sleep. Yes, I finally did. Long may that continue
• Walking on the beach with the waves lapping my ankles
• Waking to the sound of birdsong
• Falling asleep to the sound of wind in the trees
• Serendipitous offers of help
• Free Form Final Friday fun. The yoga was followed by pizza and beer. Kind of a perfect night!

Blue Trees by Leigh-Ann

Yes, I am late with this. Yes, I am sorry. Life got in the way of blogging, as it is wont to do sometimes!

• Pretty pictures. Look at the lovely one above…
• Picnicking in the park on warm Saturday evenings, with live music in the background, great food, and lovely company
• Lingering in bed till eleven. Ahh, to have more mornings like that
• Feeling purposeful and hopeful
• Anticipation for Mark’s workshop next weekend, woot!
• The amazing, positive response from the attendees of my Breath and Bandha workshop on Sunday. Thanks, you guys!
• Noodles and tea with a favourite friend on Sunday evening
• Celebrating my mother’s birthday.  I know this isn’t true  of everyone, and it makes me even more grateful: I really like, love, and enjoy my family and wouldn’t change them. I am really lucky
• Speaking to my gran on the phone, and she was able to hear me. It’s a little touch and go with her hearing sometimes
• Sleep. One day I will get enough of it
• Being by the beach on sunny days. Gotta love the lingering summer
• Pretty frocks. A girl can never have too many
• Houseguests. Coming next week, yay!
• Cleavage. I have only just learnt to wear mine with aplomb, and now, I work it baby
• Plotting home decor revamps
• The emails people have sent me to say how much they love these lists, heee heee
• And, did I mention sleep? I might have a little nap now, actually

Squeeeeeeaaaky Beach!

• Happy Lists go Bliss! From now on, I will be doubly happy every week: another Happy List, well, actually, a BlissList, will be appearing over at FindBliss, in addition to this one. Look out for it!
• Making the sand on Squeaky Beach squeak. It really does, it’s awesome!
• The view from Mount Oberon. Breathtaking
• Seeing the new growth sprouting up all over the Prom, not even a year after it was decimated by the Black Saturday bushfires. Truly an inspiring view of new life coming forth from destruction
• The meal of the holiday: homemade tuna tataki. It was so delicious. But then, so was the french toast with maple syrup. Mmmmmm. Foooood
• The way my hair is getting super-long. I am pretty certain there is a cut-off point when you become Too Old For Long Hair. I am also pretty sure 34 isn’t it. So grow on, little follicles, grow on
• Having people admire said super-long hair. This happens quite rarely because it’s usually up in a bun for work. Most people probably think that is my only hairstyle, and they aren’t far wrong
• Music: the soundtrack to my life. I am SUCH a groupie. This holiday was all about Megson (again/still), The Audreys, Johhny Cash, like I mentioned before, Devon Sproule, and a bit of Norah Jones with Dolly Parton thrown into the mix. More than a bit Country, baby

• Speaking of work, this week was my first back teaching most of my classes. It was so nice to see everyone again, and to teach again. I needed and enjoyed my holiday, but I am pretty sure I have the Best Job in the World ™
• Laying exciting plans for my trip to South Africa in March/April. Look out for some workshop postings!
• Doing something very brave. I am not going to tell you what just yet, but I will soon…
• Having a teacher I respect call me for advice about sacro-iliac joint injuries.  She said I was the only person she knew who had been open about my journey with this issue. I am so honoured
• The email conversations with various people about the SIJ issue that I have been having, sporadically, for the last year. I suspect I will soon be writing more about what I’ve learnt from my own injury. It’s really quite common, especially amongst women, and it IS possible to prevent it, and also to rehabilitate most, if not all, of the damage

I also have something to be sad about this week: a childhood friend was killed by a shark. I feel so for his parents, because it is not the natural order of things to bury a child, and for all those who loved him. The shock waves have rippled across the world. RIP, Lloydy.  I will always remember you as a barefoot boy, and as a young man in Zim and SA. I will also always remember how you battled to stop calling my mom ‘Mrs Suttie’ because good manners were so deeply bred into you. May your soul know peace and may those left behind find their peace too.